It feels
like an eternity since I last blogged. I
have oodles of ideas running through my noodle and I’m not sure on which route
my brain will take me. For now, I’ll just
transcribe whatever comes to mind and get the cobwebs out; hopefully it’s not a
jumbled mess. Last time I wrote, it was
the middle of the bitter frozen winter, thank god that’s behind us. Let’s flip the calendar a few months
ahead. Here we are, smack dab in the heart
of spring. The birds are singing, the
grass is growing too rapid for my taste already and the dazzling color is back,
in our world. Spring is here, the
sights of the gorgeous cherry blossoms, the whiff of lilacs and freshly cut
grass, it’s digging in dirt, longer days and nights and kids playing
outside. The world around me has come
alive after a dreadfully long stagnation. Once the spring air moves in, it breathes new
life into a worn-out and drab world, winter has been left behind and with that
comes inspiration. Spring makes me feel
regenerated and charged up. I can only
hope this spring, is my moment for inspiration, a fresh start.
On a
completely different note, this past week Barbara Walters finally retired, after
50 years in broadcasting. She was a
genuine trailblazer for women, achieving so much in her lengthy career; her accolades
seem like an impossibility for most human beings. With the press talking all things Barbara, my
first thought when watching it all was, WOW!
How can one person be such a pioneer, having a career with countless
extraordinary moments and I can’t even figure out what I want to do today? While
being honored she spoke about her legacy.
She didn’t include all those incredible moments of interviews of
dignitaries, famous and infamous people and celebrities. She believes her legacy is being a visionary,
a ground breaker paving the way for other women in the industry. I think she is spot on! She is a true living legend for ALL women, someone
we all aspire to be like.
Observing all
of her accomplishments made me think, what am I doing with my life? The quote I read this morning by Nido R.
Qubein, on my quote of the day calendar, read, “When you find yourself on a
plateau, look for another level.” This
quote made me think, does someone like Barbara Walters ever hit a plateau? I
couldn’t help but delve into my own existence and reflect. I’ve been struggling to figure out what I
want to do with my life, for a few years now, (Hell, I’ve been doing it my
whole life) aside from being the best damn mom and wife I can be. I’m not sure if any of you can relate but
when I opted to stay home to raise my daughter, I put my mommy cap on and threw
my professional woman fedora out the window.
My daughter will be nine years old next month and it’s about time I
figure out what’s next for me? Being at
home as a mom, is a lot like “The Tale of Two Cities.” “It was
the best of times, it was the worst of times. “ I’ve been there for everything and I mean
EVERYTHING, the good, the bad and the ugly.
My time card doesn’t get punched at 5PM and I don’t get to decompress on
my commute home. It’s a job I can’t get
fired from and the pay SUCKS! I’m not
complaining I’ve just realized I’ve hit my plateau. Please don’t take me the wrong way, it’s been
an exceptional opportunity in my life and I have been blessed to be there for
EVERYTHING in my daughter’s life. I
wouldn’t change any of it for the world; I just know it’s time for me to start looking
to another level.
As I get
closer to my 40s, I can’t help but notice I’m at an age where I thought I would
have all my shit together. When I was a
teenager, I looked at my parents and others my parents’ age and just presumed they
knew what they were doing. Now, thinking
back, I would be around that age and I’m still trying to figure out what I want
to do with my life. Sure I have a home,
a husband and a beautiful daughter, accomplishments that I am SO VERY proud to
say are mine but why do I feel so inadequate? I’m so VERY fortunate to have a
supportive husband, he is my rock and is always there supporting me through
every facet of life. I approached him
awhile back about getting back out into the workforce, finding a different career
or something that interests me. He said
to me, figure out what you want to do and wherever it is, we can go and do
it! Who doesn’t want to hear that? He is amazing, but that concept scares the
shit out of me. Oh my god, the pressure! What do I want to do? It’s such a loaded question. How many people are really doing what they
want to do? Most of us fall into a job
or career and stay there because we are content or have to pay the bills. I’m lucky in that I have choices but with
all the choices of the world, what should I do?
I’d be happy doing lots of things, but this is my big chance to do
whatever I want to. So why is it taking
me so damn long to figure it out?? While
riding in the car the other day, my husband (you know that extremely supportive
guy) said to me, that I put up roadblocks whenever I come up with an idea. Was he right? I always hated people like that, one excuse
or another why something can’t be done.
Have I become that person? I have come to the conclusion, he might be
right. Please keep this quiet and don’t
tell him, I’ll never hear the end of it!
I always say things like,” I don’t have enough experience doing that,
You need a degree to do that, I’m too old for that or I’m not good at that.” All EXCUSES!
What is
holding me back? I think my self-worth
went out the window with my career hat all those years ago, being just mom can do that to you. Where did my confidence go? I’m still the same person who never let
anything get in my way and thought I could conquer the world. The world hasn’t stopped moving, yet I feel
like I’ve stayed still. We hear success
story after success story of young twenty year olds like Facebook’s Mark Zukerberg
who made it big at a ridiculously early age and took his success all the way to
the Forbes list. Stories like his, tend
to make me think I’m no longer of any value the older I get. When in reality that couldn’t be further from
the truth. We all have so much more to
offer the older we get, living and learning, in the school of life. I think sometimes I forget that. You are never too old to set another goal or
dream another dream. To prove that, I
looked up some success stories from individuals who were older when they
reached their achievements. Who knows
maybe they didn’t know what they wanted to do either, before they found what they
were meant to do? Here goes. Sam Walton started Wal-Mart at age 43. Neil Armstrong was 16 days from his 40th
birthday when he stepped on the moon. Harland
Sanders, best known as "Colonel Sanders" was 62 when he opened his
first Kentucky Fried Chicken location. Mark
Twain hit his stride in his forties, and was 49 when "Huckleberry
Finn" was published. Lucille Ball
was 40 when she started acting in “I Love Lucy.” Leonardo da Vinci was in his forties when he
did the Last Supper and his fifties when he completed the Mona Lisa. Claude
Monet was in his sixties when he did his "Water Lilies" painting, and
the list goes on and on.
So if you
think you are at the age where you should have your shit together and you
don’t. Don’t stress, it’s NEVER too late
to get started on the things you want to do.
I’m challenging anyone reading this, to figure out if you are still
climbing the mountain or if you are standing on a plateau? Spring is the time for new. Push yourself up that mountain or climb a new
peek. Try something that scares the shit
out of you, get your mojo back, and start fresh. If you think you can’t and you make excuses
or put up roadblocks like me, imagine you are the best version of you that is
possible. Remember that is who you
really are, throw away any part of you that doesn’t believe that. So this spring when I come up with an idea,
I’m not going to let myself get in my own way, no more roadblocks! It has been said that man's most productive
years are from age 40 to 55. Look out
future here I come, my legacy is waiting for me. My future looks so bright, I’d better wear
shades. Oh wait, that’s just the sun, I
forgot what it looked like after that long winter! Seriously, I’m so very proud of my past but
moving forward I hope to do more than just exist, I want to THRIVE!
