“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” - Albert Einstein

 

Ever since I started writing my blog, the question I seem to get often is WHY?  Why are you writing it?  Why do you want to tell people what you are thinking?  Why would anyone want to read what you have to write?    Truthfully I’m not really sure how to answer these questions.  There are oodles of reasons really; personal growth, a new passion for writing, doing something that scares the crap out of me, and trying to surround myself with positive thoughts, in hopes that positive things will come back my way, the list goes on.  But the REAL answer to the question WHY can only be answered, WHY NOT?

At 36 years old, (I can hardly believe I’m a real grown up.  Most of the time I’m faking it.) I reached a point in my life, where I needed to change things up, try something new and start looking at what makes me happy.    I spent most of my twenties and early thirties focusing on building a life with my husband, doing everything you are supposed to do and taking care of my family.   I suppose my interests slowly took a backseat and I think I overlooked who I was.   Please don’t get me wrong, it was my choice to concentrate my energies, on my family.  It was always my vision; the perfect life with a husband, kids and a house.    Being a mom is what I wanted to do, love doing, and I like to think I do a worthy job.  I made my dream come true, but now what?  What do you do when you have reached your dream?  My life was and is picture-perfect, the way I have always wanted it.   The only problem is my personal identity seemed to get lost somewhere in the shuffle and I forgot that I, myself should have personal goals and dreams too, not just ones that revolved around family.

Life is comparable to being on an airplane when they tell to put the oxygen mask on yourself first so then you can help others.   It seems crazy, as mothers we are programmed to do for others first.  Why do we feel guilty if we take care of ourselves first even though we have to, to be of any use, to our loved ones?   Something just clicked for me one day, and I finally grasped this concept.  I stopped worrying about the things that I had no control over or that weren’t important, began surrounding myself with positivity and made time for me and my interests.  Like I said, no idea what brought it all on but I completely transformed one day, just like that, it was like a switch.  My family still comes first but nowadays I place myself on the priority list.  Since doing this, I fret less and I like to think I’m a better wife and mother, plus I’m doing more things for me and that makes me happy.  I’m by no means perfect and I’m sure some aspects of my “perfect dream life” have suffered.  My house is a little more out of sorts than I like to admit, but oh well, the important things are all still intact and my husband supports all of my craziness.  I’m really starting to get to know myself again and not to toot my own horn but I’m AWESOME!

Albert Einstein was quoted saying, “I have no special talent.  I am only passionately curious.”   Not that I in any way would compare myself to Einstein but I think he has got me figured out, he must have been really smart. (See I am awesome and funny too!)   No special talents - check.  Passionately curious - check.   I’ve continually been okay at everything I do, never really impelling myself to excel at anything and being incredibly critical of myself, at the same time.  On the plus side, I have always had a passion for using my creativity and trying new things.  I love learning, discovering new places and challenging myself.   Maybe I have attention deficit disorder?  I must constantly try new things but I never spend enough time on one thing to really find that special talent.   Maybe I’m just supposed to be passionately curious about everything?

This year has been a year of personal growth for me, I am constantly pushing myself further than I want to be pushed and I’ve been attempting many new things.  Some of which, scare the crap out of me and push me to be a better person than I was yesterday.  I’m growing mentally and physically and hope my future self will thank me for it one day.  I’ve remained my biggest advocate, pushing myself further that I wanted to go, even when no one else is looking.  It’s all been part of my personal growth.

So back to the question, WHY?   I guess the one reason WHY I started this blog; it’s something new, that I’ve never tried before, so why not?   My new and improved self, thought that with my communications background maybe I should give writing a try, maybe I would benefit from it.  There was no real rhyme or reason.  Truthfully, I never really cared for writing in school.   I would say that I was mediocre at it, like I am at most things.  But since I’m into challenging myself, I gave it go.  To the question, why tell the world what I’m thinking, I now have a home for the all those thoughts that run through my head and a place to express them.   So far writing has been the perfect outlet for me and once the thoughts are out in cyberspace, they are gone from my head, making room for NEW ideas.  I have been asked why anyone would want to read what you are writing.  I dunno?  It’s true, I’m a not a celebrity or even a writer, I'm just a run of the mill, commonplace woman with thoughts, in my head.  However, I believe fervently that what I have to say is just as imperative, as anyone else, in the world.   So my answer is that I really don’t care if anyone reads it; I’m doing it for myself, just to see if I can do it and do it a little better than mediocre.  I’m doing it to push myself, to conquer another challenge, and who knows what will come from it?   I am passionately curious about my future and what else new will come my way.  I hope you are too.  Next time you wonder why you are doing something, answer yourself, why not? 

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

 

Schools out and summer vacation has begun.  Students everywhere are excited and parents are counting down the days until school starts up again.  There are 77 days for our school district, but who’s counting?   Truthfully I love spending summers with my daughter but it seems to only take a few days until, like most parents, I will hear those dreaded words.  You know the ones.  “I’m bored!”   

As I am a stay at home mom, I have to be especially creative when it comes to filling our time, and this summer is no different.   I’ve hatched a plan to curb some of the boredom and do some amazing things along the way.  We will, of course, still do all the things that we like do in the summertime, we are already cramming the calendar full of our fun summertime activities; boating, swimming, vacations, beaches, time with friends & family and parties.   You get the idea, the list goes on, and we are extremely fortunate and take pleasure in, our summer months.   I have decided to add a daily element, to our summer routine, to help keep us focused on what’s important.

I must admit, I have always wanted to give back and volunteer for an exceedingly worthy cause; maybe build a house for a needy family, help Africans build water wells or maybe save some kind of endangered animal, you know REALLY make a difference.  The problem is those things are hard to do when you get to living your life.  I have struggled in the past to come up with a way for us to volunteer, as a family, and I‘ve never really found a cause that seemed to fit my families needs.   I got to thinking, maybe I’m trying to be perfect and do something too large.  I have scaled back my expectations, and I think I have found a way to give back all summer long, make a difference and have the impact I’ve been looking for, just on a more modest level.

I’m calling my idea, 77 Random Acts of Kindness.  With this, my daughter and I will be participating daily in a random act of kindness.  Some acts will be very easy to accomplish and involve with no money at all while others  will be more time consuming and require some cash (which will come from my daughter’s allowance – she is donating 50% of her earnings to this project).  In addition, my eight year old will be helping me blog along the way about her positive experiences this summer.  Not only will this help with her writing skills but we can catch a glimpse of her perspective, on this subject.  Don’t you ever wonder what goes on in a child’s head?   I know school is a crucial part of growing up, but I feel the time we spend with our kids, experiencing new things or traveling to new lands, seeing how other people live, is far more important than anything they can learn in a classroom, so I’m making summertime our classroom and having as many new positive experiences, as we can.

Benjamin Franklin was quoted saying, “Tell me and I forget.  Teach me and I remember.  Involve me and I learn.”  By involving our kids with a charity or volunteer programs, we as parents, are teaching our kids the most valuable life lesson, empathy.   We must educate our kids on how it feels to be in other people’s shoes.  If we learn empathy for others, early on in life, our world might make a change for the better.  Can you imagine if everyone did a small number of acts of kindness for someone other than themselves, how amazing the world could be?  We have become a self-absorbed society and we are raising kids who are entitled because everyone feels their lives are more important than others.  It’s a problem I’ve notice in society and I’m sure I fall victim to it every once in a while too.  We can however be part of the solution and stop adding to the problem.  It’s not enough to tell our kids to be nice to others and teach them it’s good to help people, we need to start teaching the importance of giving back, to our youngest generation by involvement.  If we don’t involve kids how will they ever learn?   

My plan is to involve my family, in my 77 Random Acts of Kindness endeavor, and hope we all learn how remarkable it feels to do good and give to others.   I still want to participate in that grand charity and travel the globe doing good deeds one day but for today I’m keeping it simple and simply thinking about others.    Clearly, I am not the first person to come up with this idea but it doesn’t matter.  My goal is to continue on my positive journey, involve my daughter so she can learn the importance of little acts of kindness and hopefully encourage some of you to join in, on our adventure.  Think small, do something every day that makes the world a little better than you found it and maybe even put a smile on someone’s face, in the process.   A little bit goes a long way, isn’t that what they always say?

“Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventures, story-tellers, and singers of songs.” – Pam Brown

 

Father’s day is upon us and it’s that time of year we all run out to the store to find that perfect neck tie, fishing pole, golf club or BBQ set for a special man, our dad.  Why do we do it to ourselves?  We run around looking for the perfect gift just because Hallmark or some tradition says, on this day, in June, you will honor and celebrate your father.  Sure it’s nice, but here’s an idea, why not we be grateful for our fathers, show them and tell them what they mean to us, spend some time with them and skip the tie this year.  I mean, who really wants a tie?

I can’t help but chuckle thinking about it but maybe Chris Rock had it right when he ranted on about “The Real Daddy”, in his hilarious comedy act.  It’s about how dads have it tough and are underappreciated.  If you haven’t seen it, check I out, YouTube it and do it now, it will bring tears to your eyes, from laughing so hard, or maybe it’s just my sick sense of humor.  I loved it.   Of course, I will not do Chris Rock justice, (I’ll leave out the expletives) to sum it up, Chris mentions that no one thanks dads for doing their job.  Most of the things we take for granted; like paying the rent, making sure there is heat or making sure the lights are on in the house, which are traditionally the dad’s job.   Chris goes on to joke about how mom gets all the credit and thanks.  Maybe he’s on to something.  Are the “REAL” dads out there underappreciated?   I’m talking about those dads that are there for their kids, day in and day out, working overtime to keep a roof over their family’s head and a meal on the table.  The dad that volunteers to help coach sports, the dad that tucks their kids in every night and the dad that loves their children’s mother. 

I enjoyed a quote by Pam Brown (whomever that is) that read, “Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventures, story-tellers, and singers of songs.”  I hope that my husband recognizes how much he is loved and needed by me and my daughter.  Once he became a dad, he has done things I would have never thought he was capable of doing.  He genuinely is a “REAL” dad.  I might even consider him an amazing one.  Not only does he work exceptionally hard, for our family, but he is always so present, in my daughter’s life.  He never misses the important stuff and is always right by my side for the little things, doing everything with her, most of the time BETTER than I do.  There is nothing ordinary about my daughter’s daddy, he is her hero and with all the adventures they have, I can’t think of a better role model than him.   Most men do start off ordinary but are catapulted into superhero status once they become fathers, as it should be. 

I am very lucky that I have had nothing but great examples of father’s, throughout my life.  My daughter and I are so very fortunate to have three very ordinary men that have taken on the role of HERO, in our lives.  To my father-in-law, thank you for raising such an astonishing son, you should be proud.  Know that we may not see each other as often as we once did, but I genuinely appreciate everything you have done for me along the way, thanks for being my second dad.  To my father, I think you already know how I feel; you have always been my hero and the only thing better than having you as my dad is having you as my daughter’s papa.   To my husband, thank you for loving me and showing our daughter how she should expect to be treated one day, by her husband, you are the cream of the crop, in the dad department.

If you are privileged, like me, to have such amazing male role models, in your life, whether it is your father or someone else’s, please make sure you appreciate them.  Let them know how much they are needed and appreciated, every time they do something that might seem small, at the time, but is rather important, in the big picture.  Let’s not take for granted the good fathers of the world.  “The Real Daddy” is the role model of our future and a bigger hero than any superhero, in a cape.  The calendar has told me today is the day to honor all things DAD.  So, I will channel my inner Chris Rock and say to each and every one of you fathers out there, “Thanks for knocking out the rent!”

“Don’t compare yourself to others compare yourself to the person from yesterday." - Unknown

I must say I’m a little scared (ok, maybe not a little), I’m freaking out.  I recently signed up and paid to run my first 5K, not only is it a 5K race but there is an obstacle course within it.   What was I thinking?   If you have read my past blogs you would know I how much I hate to run and how out of shape I am but how I really want to prove to myself that I can do it.  So the countdown is on, 10 weeks and counting.  I’m not an anxious person by nature, but I don’t think I can remember a time when I felt this far out of my comfort zone and all I have done is sign up.   Is 10 weeks really enough time?  Oh no, here comes the anxiety again!

So the plan is to run with my husband and a bunch of friends, which should make me feel better, right?  NOPE!  They are all seasoned runners besides my husband and I, which is a little daunting at this point.  I’ve been trying to get some other non-runner friends to join us but for the most part they laugh at me and tell me they will route me on and meet me at the finish line.  My one friend said, “You want me to pay to make a fool of myself?”   Then I got thinking, oh my god, that’s exactly what I have done.

With all the negative garbage going on in my head and the feeling of being so far out my own wheel house, I found this quote by some unknown and thought it was fitting. “Don’t compare yourself to others compare yourself to the person from yesterday.”  I know in my heart that it really doesn’t matter who else runs in this race only that I have challenged myself to complete something I’ve never done before.  Even if it involves crawling across the finish line in the very last place, I will be so much better than the person I was the day before.   As I wrap my head around this whole thing, I must remember that I can do it.  So today is the beginning, no more excuses.   I am officially starting to train for this thing.  My sneakers are all laced up and ready to go.

Why do we always compare ourselves to others?   I think most people want to be validated and comparing ourselves to others gives us the ability to gauge how “normal” we are.   I’ve always been a little different, but who can say what’s normal.  I know that I have looked at people around me for validation but I think I have tried to pave my own path and if I’m going to follow someone, I like to put a little twist to it.  So, as I follow (and I will be following not leading) my friends in this upcoming race, I ‘m going do it my way with a little twist, be myself and just have a blast doing it.  I hope that you all can think of something that challenges you, step outside your comfort zone and make yourself better than the day before.

So, the entry fee has been submitted, I have promised my friends I will be running and now I’ve told all of you.  There is NO turing back now.  So even though my brain is still screaming, “ARE YOU CRAZY,” there is a tiny bit of pride trying to peek out from all the doubt.   I know that this will be one of the biggest accolades, in my life, because I’m pushing my envelope and doing something that scares the ever living shit out of me.  Since this is a personal challenge, I hope that over the next 10 weeks the pride will start to show itself more and the doubt will go away.  I will keep you posted on my progress and let you know if I make it across the finish line.  My goal isn’t to keep up with all the others, it’s to be a little better than I was yesterday and do that for 10 weeks.  I just hope I won’t need a defibrillator  at the finish line.

“Choose a job that you like and you will never have to work a day in your life” - Confucius

 

If every ending is a new beginning; tomorrow dawns a new beginning for a very important man in my life, my dad.  Today is my father’s last day of work.  He is retiring after nearly 50 years in the grocery industry.   That doesn’t seem possible; no one does that these days.  As my dad wants it, today there will be no pomp and circumstance, no parties or balloons, just a quick slip out the back door (which tells more about my dad than anything).  To him it’s simply another day of work, even if it will be his final day.  My dad began working in a grocery store the minute he could get his first job and he never really left the business, except for his paid vacation to the Vietnam War, courtesy of the US ARMY.   He started on the bottom, in a local grocery store, soon moving around often from store to store, quickly working his way up the ladder to store manager. 

Thirty six years ago dad found out that corporate America was not for him and set off to work for the same small independent supermarket that he will be walking out the door for the final time today.   My father’s work ethic is like no other.  He continually put his blood, sweat and tears into the store and always treated it like it was his own.   When I was a youngster, I can remember him saying all the time, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”   The dedication and loyalty he showed to his job was unprecedented.  When I was little he worked lengthy hours, paying his dues.  As most people in retail, he worked weekends, nights and even holidays, but I can’t remember ever hearing him complain, not even once.   When talking about events from the past that he can’t remember, there is a running joke, he says, “I must have been working that day” and he probably was.  His job was always a priority (not in an adverse way) in a way that makes me proud to be his daughter.   He worked hard to provide for my family and it was important to him.   Commiiting as many years as he has to one profession shows a very solid character, one that not many in my generation emulate nowadays.

Confucius said, “Choose a job that you like and you will never have to work a day in your life”  I think my dad has done that.  I know a grocery store doesn’t sound especially glamorous and I don’t imagine I would have lasted more than a few weeks at it but my dad loved it.  When he told stories about his time at work, he always spoke with some level of pride, like he was doing something important and really he was.   I remember my dad telling me how much he loved the grocery business and how he felt it was so exciting.  I’ll never forget him telling me how it was the perfect business to get into, because quote, “people are always going to need to eat.”

My dad devoted the majority of his life to a business he loved, during a time when independent grocery stores were at the height of their existence and he was very successful at it.   No career that spans half a century can be all peaches and cream, I’m sure there were many rough days, when my dad wanted to throw in the towel but he never did.   Knowing my father he will ONLY take with him the positive experiences and lessons he acquired along the way, because that’s just how he is.   One thing I know, the store will go on without my dad and there will be a new store manager but I believe the people in the community and his co-workers will be better off for knowing him and having him be part of their everyday lives, I know I am.   They may not have all loved him, but I would dare say most of them would say he is a good man who loved what he did. 

To my dad, I love you with all my heart.  You have inspired me my whole life, your perseverance; strength, loyalty, generosity and dedication have been the best examples to learn from.   As for tomorrow, well the world is your oyster (isn’t that what they say).  Sleep in, kick back, drink some coffee and get ready for your new beginning.  I can’t wait to see what you come up with.  My hope for you is that you finally figure out what you want to be when you grow up.  Maybe you will record that #1 hit song or spend some time fishing or maybe golfing.  Maybe you will finally get to buy that convertible you’ve been dreaming about and someday drive with no real destination in mind.  Yes, tomorrow is a fresh start, a new beginning where you finally get to be just the customer and hang up your white shirt and tie. You do know the customer is always right, don’t you?  Dad, welcome to retirement, where the pay sucks but the hours are great!

 

“We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer." - Unknown

 

As this week draws to a close and I am spending my Sunday, on the deck, looking out at the lake, I am truly humbled by how marvelous my life is.   As the warm lake wind is whipping through my hair, I have had a few minutes of tranquility, at the end of my busy week.  With peace comes clarity and this moment right now, is no different.  My mind had drifted off into thinking about friends and all the friendships that I am currently blessed to have.   So, why not pick up a pen and paper and began writing my post for today.  

It seems like, as everything in life, our friendships change right along with our personal growth.  As my life has evolved, so have my friendships.   I guess this makes sense, when you are younger you make friends at school with kids that have common interests (let’s face it school is really the first place you have that is your own and where you first learn to socialize).  After my school life, friends came in and out of my life along with my interests, and I don’t know about you but my interests have definitely changed since I was in college.  Each time a new friend enters my life, I learn and grow.  I will always appreciate the time, regardless of how long it was, with friends throughout my life.   Since we can’t go back in time, nor do I want to, moving forward and growing is all we can do.   

I read a quote recently by an unknown that said, “We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.”  Currently at this chapter of my life, I can truly and honestly say I have been blessed to have such amazing chums come into my life.  While I will never forget my buddies of the past, the ones that have offered me such amazing friendships in many of the pivotal times of my life, I am excited about the future of the friendships I have created.  The bonds that I am currently building are definitely not ordinary and have proved to already offer so much to my life.  As I grow with my friends, I feel like I’m living my life a little more to the fullest every day and I look forward to the friends that will come, in my future.

As I sit here looking out at the lake that I love and call home, I realize how fortunate am I to have so many great people to share my life with.  So here’s to drinking wine on the neighbors’ deck, impromptu gatherings, softball camaraderie, evening ice cream trips with lots of shits and giggles, endless and senseless banter between pals during online chats, and fun times at the lake.  I am happy to say I’m surrounding myself with some really remarkable people, ones that know how to have fun, try new things, and really understand the meaning of life, which in my opinion, is to not take life too serious.    I have always heard you are the company you keep.  I sure hope this is true because that would make me awesome!

Let us all take time to look around at the company we are keeping, learn to let go of the relationships that bring you down and hang on to those that lift you up.   Some friends come into our lives and leave just as fast as they arrive, while others stick around for a lifetime.  No matter how long you spend with people, make it count, try to be the best you can be and remember to help others be their best too.  When you are surrounded by the people you are meant to be with at this moment in your life, have fun and live life to the fullest, I know I am.  Special thanks to all the friends throughout my life, you have helped make me who I am today. 

Above all things, I am so grateful that I gave a seemly ordinary boy the chance many moons ago to show me how exceptional he is.   No matter what friends come and go from my life, I will always be lucky because my best friend is by my side, day in and day out and he will be there until the end.   When you meet new people remember no one is ordinary, just give them a chance to let them show you how awesome they are.   If you give people your time, they might give you something mind-blowing in return, what do you have to lose?