“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” - Albert Einstein

 

Ever since I started writing my blog, the question I seem to get often is WHY?  Why are you writing it?  Why do you want to tell people what you are thinking?  Why would anyone want to read what you have to write?    Truthfully I’m not really sure how to answer these questions.  There are oodles of reasons really; personal growth, a new passion for writing, doing something that scares the crap out of me, and trying to surround myself with positive thoughts, in hopes that positive things will come back my way, the list goes on.  But the REAL answer to the question WHY can only be answered, WHY NOT?

At 36 years old, (I can hardly believe I’m a real grown up.  Most of the time I’m faking it.) I reached a point in my life, where I needed to change things up, try something new and start looking at what makes me happy.    I spent most of my twenties and early thirties focusing on building a life with my husband, doing everything you are supposed to do and taking care of my family.   I suppose my interests slowly took a backseat and I think I overlooked who I was.   Please don’t get me wrong, it was my choice to concentrate my energies, on my family.  It was always my vision; the perfect life with a husband, kids and a house.    Being a mom is what I wanted to do, love doing, and I like to think I do a worthy job.  I made my dream come true, but now what?  What do you do when you have reached your dream?  My life was and is picture-perfect, the way I have always wanted it.   The only problem is my personal identity seemed to get lost somewhere in the shuffle and I forgot that I, myself should have personal goals and dreams too, not just ones that revolved around family.

Life is comparable to being on an airplane when they tell to put the oxygen mask on yourself first so then you can help others.   It seems crazy, as mothers we are programmed to do for others first.  Why do we feel guilty if we take care of ourselves first even though we have to, to be of any use, to our loved ones?   Something just clicked for me one day, and I finally grasped this concept.  I stopped worrying about the things that I had no control over or that weren’t important, began surrounding myself with positivity and made time for me and my interests.  Like I said, no idea what brought it all on but I completely transformed one day, just like that, it was like a switch.  My family still comes first but nowadays I place myself on the priority list.  Since doing this, I fret less and I like to think I’m a better wife and mother, plus I’m doing more things for me and that makes me happy.  I’m by no means perfect and I’m sure some aspects of my “perfect dream life” have suffered.  My house is a little more out of sorts than I like to admit, but oh well, the important things are all still intact and my husband supports all of my craziness.  I’m really starting to get to know myself again and not to toot my own horn but I’m AWESOME!

Albert Einstein was quoted saying, “I have no special talent.  I am only passionately curious.”   Not that I in any way would compare myself to Einstein but I think he has got me figured out, he must have been really smart. (See I am awesome and funny too!)   No special talents - check.  Passionately curious - check.   I’ve continually been okay at everything I do, never really impelling myself to excel at anything and being incredibly critical of myself, at the same time.  On the plus side, I have always had a passion for using my creativity and trying new things.  I love learning, discovering new places and challenging myself.   Maybe I have attention deficit disorder?  I must constantly try new things but I never spend enough time on one thing to really find that special talent.   Maybe I’m just supposed to be passionately curious about everything?

This year has been a year of personal growth for me, I am constantly pushing myself further than I want to be pushed and I’ve been attempting many new things.  Some of which, scare the crap out of me and push me to be a better person than I was yesterday.  I’m growing mentally and physically and hope my future self will thank me for it one day.  I’ve remained my biggest advocate, pushing myself further that I wanted to go, even when no one else is looking.  It’s all been part of my personal growth.

So back to the question, WHY?   I guess the one reason WHY I started this blog; it’s something new, that I’ve never tried before, so why not?   My new and improved self, thought that with my communications background maybe I should give writing a try, maybe I would benefit from it.  There was no real rhyme or reason.  Truthfully, I never really cared for writing in school.   I would say that I was mediocre at it, like I am at most things.  But since I’m into challenging myself, I gave it go.  To the question, why tell the world what I’m thinking, I now have a home for the all those thoughts that run through my head and a place to express them.   So far writing has been the perfect outlet for me and once the thoughts are out in cyberspace, they are gone from my head, making room for NEW ideas.  I have been asked why anyone would want to read what you are writing.  I dunno?  It’s true, I’m a not a celebrity or even a writer, I'm just a run of the mill, commonplace woman with thoughts, in my head.  However, I believe fervently that what I have to say is just as imperative, as anyone else, in the world.   So my answer is that I really don’t care if anyone reads it; I’m doing it for myself, just to see if I can do it and do it a little better than mediocre.  I’m doing it to push myself, to conquer another challenge, and who knows what will come from it?   I am passionately curious about my future and what else new will come my way.  I hope you are too.  Next time you wonder why you are doing something, answer yourself, why not?