"I thank God, I was born and American child, 'cause dreams can grow wild born inside an American child.” - Phil Vassar

 

Memorial Day, that time of year when we roll out the grill and have a long weekend with family and friends.  Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer for me.   I know the calendar says we still have weeks to go but it signifies the launch of my time, at the lake.  It is a much beloved time of year, one I have been anticipating for months and months.  Memorial weekend has always meant the same thing for me, from the time when I was a young child.  I don’t recall a Memorial Day that I haven’t spent at the lake, and this past weekend was no different.  We dredged out into the FREEZING COLD lake water (yes COLD – I think was in the 40s) and put the dock in, at my family cottage, for the season.  The generation before me did this, my generation has played a role and now my daughter’s generation is getting the chance to experience this family tradition as well.  

I heard a song the other day by country singer Phil Vassar that made think of how blessed I am to be American.  The chorus went like this, “I thank God, I was born and American child, 'cause dreams can grow wild born inside an American child.”   I am proud to be an American, because of the men and women who fight day after day, giving me the privilege to dream now and even when I was a child.  Being an American has always meant the sky’s was the limit to me.  I can’t imagine living in a country where my dreams didn’t matter or I wasn’t given the right to believe my dreams would come true.  Our soldiers fight for the next generation of dreamers and give our children the right to have their dreams grow wild without limitations.  I am so grateful, on this Memorial Day, for the men and women who fight for this freedom. They put their lives on the line for the future of our families.  This is the biggest contribution anyone can give.   In my eyes this makes them HEROS. 

This Memorial Day celebrate the Red, White and Blue and go out and thank someone who has put your children’s future before their own.   If you see a solider or a veteran, go up and thank them, it’s because of them that we have such liberties, in our American lives.   We mustn’t forget the real reason we all have the great fortune of picnics and parades, on this long weekend, our fallen HEROS.  I will keep in mind the brave men and women who didn’t come home to their own families, just so that I could have the opportunity to continue my family tradition of being at the lake.  At no time will I forget the soldiers who made the ultimate sacrifice and will never have the opportunity to see all the generations in their family, get together for a family tradition.   I am so thankful for those who sacrifice day in and day out to let our children dream big and have NO limitations because they are AMERICAN.   Thank you to our troops and all the fallen heroes who came before, for my Freedom to DREAM!

If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do the more you can do. – Lucille Ball

 

With the school year nearing the end, I am dedicating this post to all those parents, families and teachers who took time out of their schedules to help out with the Parent Teacher Community Connection.  It is an organization I am proud to be a part of and is made up of a remarkable group of people, who are dedicated to making our Romulus Central School community better.  We had many successful programs and provided loads of entertainment, all through the school year.  I want to sincerely thank you for baking the cupcakes, volunteering to set up, chaperoning, hustling to sell tickets, and mostly for bringing the whole family out to have fun. 

I joined this organization in 2011, of course because I aspired to get involved in my daughter’s school.  Before that, I had considered helping out for a while but never really acted, on my thoughts.  At a community event, I saw the newly selected president of the PTCC, Vickie Shields, and as always she was busting her butt for others.  For those who don’t know, Vickie has six kids under her roof, and runs a successful at home business.   Despite how busy she is on the home front, she still finds the time to give back to the community.  When I saw how hard Vickie was working that day, something clicked in my head.  I approached her about volunteering, because I figured if she can find the time, so can I.  I have been by her side ever since, and little did I know that a few months later, I would take on such a major role, in the group.

The late Lucille Ball once said, “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.  The more things you do the more you can do.”   My daughter wants to be involved in everything these days.  If a handout comes home from school to join something, she wants to sign up.  I love her energy and will continually encourage her to try different things.  So we sign up.   Subsequently we have been flung into more and more activities and I’m noticing the same faces over and over again.  Some of the reason is the small school charm of Romulus but I like to think we have a select group of devoted parents.  Perhaps the whole world should be a little bit more like Vickie and the dedicated parents out there.  Don’t say you don’t have time, make the time; the busier you are, the more you will be able to get done.

I’d like to give a BIG shout out to all those parents that give and give and give, of their time.  You know who you are, the parents that come to every practice, never miss a recital, volunteer to help bake cookies, coach a youth team, sell raffle tickets, volunteer in the classroom, drive the car pool, sign up to chaperone and attend all of our crazy PTCC events.  You are the SUPER RCS FAMILIES and I am so pleased to be a part of your group.  Being a parent can be busy, but a busy person always gets the job done.  What would our community look like without you?   As a graduate of Romulus Central School and a mother of a RCS student, I appreciate all that you are giving to our kids and to my alma mater.  Thank you.

“The trouble is, you think you have time.” – Buddha

I’m writing my blog today, with a heavy heart.  My 81 year old grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease is going into a nursing home.  Her diagnosis and her decline have all happened relatively quickly.   A loved one with Alzheimer’s and all the decisions that go with it are some of the hardest things to think about and be a part of.  I generally have a tough exterior but at the moment I’m having a hard time keeping it together.  My grandmother has constantly been there for me, she has always been just down the road.  I think of all the times that I could stop and chat with her whenever I wanted.   I can’t help but feel like a part of my own life is over, almost like a death.  Like I said I have a very heavy heart.  I sincerely wish I could turn back the clock for her, make her remember the important things, so she care for herself and finish out her days in her home, where she has so many memories of raising her family.   However her memories are going away and a nursing home is the best decision for her well-being.   I wouldn’t be human, if I didn’t wonder why?  Sure, she has lived a full 81 years and deep down I do believe a higher power has a different plan for her, but why do our loved ones have to go out like this?   I’m sure I’ll never truly know the answer.   I guess time is just one of those things we just can’t get back.

To quote Buddha, “The trouble is, you think you have time.”  How many times, have I said, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll start my diet on Monday or I was going to do that?  I’m not really a procrastinator I’ve just always been someone who thinks there will be time.   When I go about my normal daily routine, I never stop and think how life can change at a drop of a hat.  One minute you are busy planning the way you want your life to be and the next life throws you a curve ball.  What you have always known is no longer.   I can say that many happenings in my life and events from the lives of those that I’m surrounded by have taught me a very important lesson.   Hold on to what you have right here in the NOW, because it may not always be as it is.  Also do what makes you happy, life is too short to things you don’t want to do.

When we are little time can’t move fast enough.  As kids we are in a hurry to grow up.  Once we get there we want to go back and start it over again.  I used to laugh at old people when they said that awful cliché, (you know the one) time is going too fast.    It seems to me, with every year that I age, time kicks it up a notch and starts going a little bit faster.  There was never a truer lyric to a song than, “When your hour glass runs out of sand, you can’t flip it over and start again.  Take every breath; god gives you for what it’s worth, Don’t Blink.  Life moves faster than you think.”    

We all take time for granted; we get busy with life and assume there will always be time to do the things we put off.  In the end, there will have never  have been enough time to do all the things we want and we will never be able to love our families enough.  So, right now, get out there and live, regret is useless.  Whether you are looking at life through a child’s eyes or a set of elderly eyes, I challenge you to make a bucket list, start checking things off NOW.  It’s never too early to start.  Time is one of the only things that all the money in the world, can’t buy you.  Use your time wisely and love the hell out of your NOW, because it might change tomorrow.

“Everything the light touches is our kingdom.” – The Lion King

 

Adults constantly feel the need to be educating their children, when in fact; our children can teach us too.   Just because something is small doesn’t mean it can’t have a big impact.   Today I had the pleasure of attending an assembly at my daughter’s school to celebrate their PRIDE program.  As identified, in the handout I received, PRIDE is a positive approach to student behaviors, behavior management, and bullying.  PRIDE stands for Perseverance, Respect, Integrity, Determination and Excellence. 

Throughout the presentation, all students kindergarten to fifth grades got up in front the group and showed off the PRIDE posters they created.  Then a select set of students from each grade level spoke of a case where they used PRIDE, in their own lives, throughout the school year.  Generally the topics the students spoke about were very simple philosophies.  They declared respect for their dogs and cats, by taking care of them, many told of perseverance in a sports accomplishment and others expressed integrity when helping or loving others.   As I sat there, I guess I was expecting more.  I thought they should be tasked at having grander gestures and thought that the ideas they came up with seemed insignificant.  After I got home and really thought about it, I think we all can learn from those kids and the simple tasks they performed, I know I did.

After today’s presentation, I am reminded of a great line from the movie the Lion King (that is no coincidence, since they were playing Lion King Music during the presentation), when the king of the jungle says to his son, “Everything the light touches is our kingdom.”  Lions may be the in charge of the animal kingdom but humans are in charge of the WORLD.  As humans, we are responsible for everything and everywhere the light shines, in our own lives.  It’s up to all humans, as a group, to leave the world a little better than we found it. 

As individuals, we should all aim to live our lives, with perseverance, respect, integrity, determination and excellence.  Have PRIDE, take care of your surrounding and have respect for all the people that are part of it.  The students’ simplest acts of sharing an ice cream, having something nice to say about a sibling or loving and respecting a best friend, is what makes this world a better place.  It’s not about the big things, it about the little things we can do every day, that when put together make a big difference.

If each student, I saw today, performed just one little act, imagine what the WHOLE PRIDE of students has accomplished, this school year.   Just like the teamwork in a PRIDE of lions, these students each performed a minor deed that when put together made their environment a better place.  The concept of Perseverance, Respect, Integrity, Determination and Excellence should be the mantra for everyone’s life, not just a project in school.  Take time to perform little acts that show your PRIDE and make your kingdom a better place.  Spend each day challenging yourself to find times where you exhibit examples of PRIDE.  The students from my daughter’s school are leaving their kingdom a little better than they found it, with their acts of PRIDE.  Just because something is small doesn’t mean it can’t have a big impact.  

“Share the best moments of your life with your children as often as you can. Someday when your memory fails they will be happy to share them with you.” -Unknown

A very wise person once said, “By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter that thinks she is wrong.”  Isn’t that the true circle of life?  The complicated relationship between mother and daughter isn’t exclusive to my house, nor is it a new concept.  To this day my mother and I go back and forth and round and round about almost every topic, as well as my daughter and I.  But we always come back to the place where we know how much we love and respect each other.  The mother and daughter relationship is one of the most significant and hard to understand.

My post today is dedicated to the first person in my life, MY MOTHER.  Where do I start?   How do I talk about a person, who dedicated most their life to me?  My mom is truly the crème de la crème, in the mother department.  She has taught me that nothing it too hard to accomplish and has always been my biggest cheerleader.  She is nurturing and one of the strongest people I’ve ever known.  She always puts others before herself, is honest, kind and someone I aspire to be like some day.

I have continually learned from my mother by example.   She is not one of those moms that is, a “do as I say, not as I do,” kind of parent.  She puts her money where her mouth is.  As I mentioned before, the circle of life, my mother now has to take care of her own mother.  My mom is struggling with one of the harshest things to deal with in life, an elderly mother with the Alzheimer’s disease.   My mother is not running away or thinking of herself, she is showing how strong she is and is currently acting as her mother’s caregiver.  My mother has taken the bull by the horns (that would be my grandmother, for those who have not met her) and done the best she knows how, with a very small support system.   Of course she sometimes complains along the way, it’s tough and she’s not Mother Teresa, but my mother never gives up. 

My mom is watching her mother slip away from her every day, memory by fading memory.  I can’t relate to what she must be going through, slowly losing her mom, the first person she ever knew.  She is a ball of emotions, up and down and she has every right to be.  Another wise unknown once said, “Share the best moments of your life with your children as often as you can.  Someday when your memory fails they will be happy to share them with you.”    I know as much of a burden and a terrible experience they are going through, my mother is cherishing the moments she gets to spend with her own mother and sharing those old memories together.  My mother doesn’t do any of this because there is a prize at the end; she knows the prize is the last bit of time she is spending with her mom before she forgets.   My mother does it because it’s what you do and the relationship between mother and daughter is important.

We should all take some time with our mothers and appreciate all that they have given us, not just this Sunday on Mother’s Day, but every day.  Listen to those stories your mom is telling you, over and over again, someday you may have to share them with your mom.  Thank you mom, for showing me how it’s supposed to be done, I am still learning from your examples every day.  I love you.  Happy Mother’s Day.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.” - Ferris Bueller

 

Albeit the calendar formally told us spring was here over a month ago, I have been doubtful it would make it, to my house, this year.  For those who live in a cold winter climate, you should be able to relate.  For those who have no idea, what it’s like to freeze your butt off, may I move in with you next winter?  But seriously, I believe, spring has sprung and this past week’s weather has invigorated my disposition.  Doesn’t everything seem to change as soon as the weather breaks?  I think it feels like when the Technicolor kicks in for Dorothy, in the movie, The Wizard of Oz.  It truthfully is like the world comes back to life and each and every one of us comes out of hibernation, and it happens all at once.   

Our cold winters makes it seem like an eternity of very little outdoor happenings and goings-on.  But once, the weather breaks, I always find my calendar booked come May.  I think this might be mental.   We appear to jam a copious amount of plans into a somewhat small window of time. Maybe this is because we need to make up for all those months of being closed in or maybe it’s just that we feel restored when the decent weather arrives.  I can tell you that when the weather ultimately breaks, I feel like I’m trying to shove a gallon into a quart.  Hustle and bustle is in the air and I love to keep busy, it’s better than the winter monotony any day.   But why is it when all the winter greys fade away and the Technicolor gets turned on, do we not have time to enjoy it?

To use a quote from one of my much loved movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.”  With any luck each one of us can take a page from Ferris Bueller’s book (he was wise beyond his years) and take a day to play hooky from reality.  Spend a spring day looking around and experiencing the season where everything is coming back to life.  

No matter how busy I get this spring; I plan to STOP to appreciate the beautiful breeze through my house with all the windows open, smell the fresh cut grass when my neighbor mows, make time for that bike ride, wait for and watch the most beautiful sunsets, teach my daughter how to do cartwheels, enjoy working in the garden, toss around a baseball with friends, pick some lilacs, take a dip in the lake even if it’s chilly and seize that chance to go get ice cream with the family.  Even if I don’t get each of the things on my to do list done, I’m making a promise to myself.  I will take time to stop and look around at the awesomeness of spring, before I miss it, hopefully you can do the same.

"A teacher affects eternity, and can never tell where the influence stops." - Henry Brooks Adams

In honor of National Teacher Appreciation Day, I thought I would express my gratitude to possibly, the most influential career, in our world, the teacher.  It is a profession that touches everyone, everywhere.    Every Tom, Dick and Harry has had an educator that has impacted their lives.   You know the ones; they go above and beyond and really connect with us, that teacher that sparked our interest in the arts or mathematics, that teacher that took an interest in you.

Years ago, when I was in school, I would have said that the best teachers were the entertaining ones who gave the least amount of homework.  I know you are all with me, who really at age 14, wanted to learn about the Civil War, Geometry or Shakespeare?  I wanted to have fun.  Looking back now, with my grown up eyes, the Grade A teachers, were the ones that sparked an interest in me, even when I didn’t know there was one.   The teachers who had a love for what they were instructing and I could tell because they engaged me and made me want to learn because of their energy.  The best teachers were accessible and never too busy to listen to me even though I’m sure their schedules were jam-packed.  

When we are young’uns, we don’t realize the importance of a first class teacher; we just worry about that passing grade and wonder why we have to learn something we will never need in life.  School is just something that gets in the way of our social life.  However when we grow up and have successes, we recognize that our teachers played an enormous role in making that possible. 

The value of teaching is immeasurable.  In the words of Henry Brooks Adams, “A teacher affects eternity, and can never tell where the influence stops.”  I believe this to be true.  Each and every time a person reaches greatness, you can be sure that a great teacher must have played a role.  Good teachers develop minds, spark interest, teach fundamentals, learn from their students, listen often, go above and beyond and impact lives daily.  They are so much more than just ABCs and 123s.

Take time to realize all the amazing teachers you were able to have in your life and thank a teacher today.  To every one of my teachers, I would like to say a simple THANK YOU.  In many ways you have made an impression on me that I will carry with me forever.  Thank you to teachers everywhere, you may not feel like you are appreciated daily but just remember the value of what you do is immeasurable.  In some way, you will be with your students for a lifetime, so please be a magnificent teacher.  The future is depending on you.

"Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss

When I look back at my life, I think of the things I’ve accomplished;  the fun, the experiences, the places I’ve gone and all the milestones I’ve had, in my 36 years.  Through most of it, there was someone there to experience it with me.   I’m not talking about one person; I’m talking about my countless friends, family and acquaintances I’ve had throughout my days.  While some of these people are still part of my life, and will always be, many others are no longer part of it.   Individuals come in and out of our lives, all the time.  Some stay a long time and others only stop for a quick visit.

One of the things that troubles me is when I think about the people who have had an impact on my life, no matter how trivial, that are no longer in it and I know I will probably never have anything to do with ever again.  When I really consider it, the list is long.  It’s mind-blowing how many people come into our lives, change the trajectory, and give us fantastic memories to keep with us.  Ever wonder if those people know how much of an influence they had on our lives? 

My favorite author, Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened.”  Instead of fretting about a falling out you had with a family member, a friend that you just lost touch with, or someone that was taken from you too soon.  Remember the incredible times you shared with those people.  Remember those moments that have shaped your life into what it is now.  Maybe that somebody was only supposed to be in your life, for a flash in time.  Cherish those times, clear your mind and be ready for different moments with new folks in different places. 

Let’s do our best to look back at our recollections with a smile because they happened and not with sadness because they are done.  Search for those moments that have made us who are, enjoy the moments with those in our lives right now, before they too become only memories.  Individuals come in to our lives every day, some stick around and some only stay for a short visit.  Know there must be a reason.  Take time to reflect and realize how many people impact our lives.  Do you think there is someone, in the world, who is thinking about you and smiles at the memories you were part of, because they happened?

“You must do things you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of my life I have had confidence, sometimes too much.  I was raised an only child with two very loving parents, who must have always told me how wonderful I was, at EVERYTHING.   For that I am grateful, because I have NEVER really thought I couldn’t do something.  I never put up barriers and I always have done what I wanted.  One exception comes to mind however, running! 

Through my childhood, I was always athletic….I played sports, loved being outside and was fairly fit.  But the one thing that was always the albatross around my neck was my ability to run.  I downright HATED IT!    In soccer, I remember rounding the 1 mile mark, looking at the back of my fellow teammate’s heads and tossing my cookies.  My most regrettable time in basketball was as soon as the coach called us to the line to do suicides.  (If you like them, you must have something wrong with you.)  Then there was softball, one of my favorite sports, probably because it’s a sport that requires some of the least amount of running.   I remember my coach telling me to “pick the plow” from behind me, when I rounded the bases.  And of course my nickname was “SPEEDY.”  So as you can appreciate, all the confidence in the world wouldn’t make me think I should be a runner.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do things you think you cannot do.”  So, hear I go.  I am signing myself up for my first 5K and I’m terrified.  It’s a rugged version of a 5K.  I figured if I have to run, I might as well make it interesting. 

There is no time like the present to get started.   I was so inspired while writing this post that I got off the couch and starting my training.    I just got back from my first official run of training.  I wasn’t earth shattering and I didn’t break any records, but I got up and got going.  Another wise person, Walt Disney once said, “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”  So, as of today I’m considering myself a runner.  I run like a mob of sloths charging through molasses.  But I do, in fact, RUN!

 

If I came across a blog on positivity, I would assume the blogger is someone who smiles constantly, never has a bad day or is one of those flawless people who, always looks at the glass, as half full.  However that is not the case here.  I am not an optimist by nature.  Nor am I a pessimist.  I think some days, I’m one and other days, I am the latter.   I think of myself as a realist, or maybe that is just a lazy way to excuse my attitude?  Why can’t I be someone who looks at everything in a positive light?  I have so much to be grateful for.

Day to day we all take for granted the blessings we have in our lives, because we are indeed human, and we are flawed.   I can tell you that I get so sick of people using the line, “I just wasn’t happy.”  You’ve heard someone say this.   Was there a meeting I missed where they handed out promises for happiness?  

People throw around the word happy so flippantly, that I’m not sure most of us know the true meaning.  Webster defines happy as, enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment.  No wonder we can’t find happiness.  Who among us doesn’t want more; more money, more things, and more time, more of everything?  How can we be in a place of contentment, when society is always telling us we should want more?

Take some time today and think of the things you have in your life.  I promised if you make a conscience effort to do this, you will find the happiness that was already inside you.  Filter out the negative and really appreciate what you have.  I challenge anyone reading this to jot down 10 things that you are grateful for.  It will be hard to say,” I’m not happy,” when you look at all the amazing blessing we all have.   Next time you are having a glass half empty kind of day, remember this saying, “The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.”

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” - Audrey Hepburn

 

There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live a little better.  The older I become, the more I understand the importance of surrounding yourself with these individuals.  For me, I enjoy spending time with others who don’t take themselves or anything around them too serious.

Audrey Hepburn had it right when she said, “I love people who make me laugh.  I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh.  It cures a multitude of ills.  It’s probably the most important thing in a person.”   I couldn’t agree more.  Laughter is positively the answer to MY happiness.

Recently, I have decided to get rid of the damaging clutter in my mind, which I have been hoarding for years.   I am determined to stop using my energy thinking or distressing about the undesirable people and experiences that I have no control over.   It’s not that I don’t care any longer or love those folks; it’s just that I love myself MORE.

Ever since I have made this transformation, I have had various new friends come into my life.  It has been said that our attitude towards others determines attitudes towards us.  So, maybe it’s my change that has brought this on?   I know certain people seem to bring out the positive and make me laugh more than others.  Currently my friends do that.  I seem to constantly be laughing with them.  I have had many new experiences that have been nothing but entertaining.  I value these people, in my life, because they make me laugh.

Don’t misunderstand me, I have laughed throughout life and found a sense of humor to be a treasured commodity.  It’s what attracted me to my husband, it’s what  has gotten me through being a parent and as a kid I was always the one to pee my pants because I laughed too much.  Laugher is what has kept me going.  I have always cherished laughing; it brings out the best in me.  I find it to be one of the best qualities a person can have.
 
Life does go in stages and friends come and go.  So for now, I plan to cherish the relationships I have.   I will laugh until my stomach hurts, laugh until I cry, laugh until milk comes out of my nose, laugh when I’m not supposed to and laugh until I pee my pants.  Maybe I’ll become one of those people who makes someone else laugh?