“The trouble is, you think you have time.” – Buddha

I’m writing my blog today, with a heavy heart.  My 81 year old grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease is going into a nursing home.  Her diagnosis and her decline have all happened relatively quickly.   A loved one with Alzheimer’s and all the decisions that go with it are some of the hardest things to think about and be a part of.  I generally have a tough exterior but at the moment I’m having a hard time keeping it together.  My grandmother has constantly been there for me, she has always been just down the road.  I think of all the times that I could stop and chat with her whenever I wanted.   I can’t help but feel like a part of my own life is over, almost like a death.  Like I said I have a very heavy heart.  I sincerely wish I could turn back the clock for her, make her remember the important things, so she care for herself and finish out her days in her home, where she has so many memories of raising her family.   However her memories are going away and a nursing home is the best decision for her well-being.   I wouldn’t be human, if I didn’t wonder why?  Sure, she has lived a full 81 years and deep down I do believe a higher power has a different plan for her, but why do our loved ones have to go out like this?   I’m sure I’ll never truly know the answer.   I guess time is just one of those things we just can’t get back.

To quote Buddha, “The trouble is, you think you have time.”  How many times, have I said, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll start my diet on Monday or I was going to do that?  I’m not really a procrastinator I’ve just always been someone who thinks there will be time.   When I go about my normal daily routine, I never stop and think how life can change at a drop of a hat.  One minute you are busy planning the way you want your life to be and the next life throws you a curve ball.  What you have always known is no longer.   I can say that many happenings in my life and events from the lives of those that I’m surrounded by have taught me a very important lesson.   Hold on to what you have right here in the NOW, because it may not always be as it is.  Also do what makes you happy, life is too short to things you don’t want to do.

When we are little time can’t move fast enough.  As kids we are in a hurry to grow up.  Once we get there we want to go back and start it over again.  I used to laugh at old people when they said that awful cliché, (you know the one) time is going too fast.    It seems to me, with every year that I age, time kicks it up a notch and starts going a little bit faster.  There was never a truer lyric to a song than, “When your hour glass runs out of sand, you can’t flip it over and start again.  Take every breath; god gives you for what it’s worth, Don’t Blink.  Life moves faster than you think.”    

We all take time for granted; we get busy with life and assume there will always be time to do the things we put off.  In the end, there will have never  have been enough time to do all the things we want and we will never be able to love our families enough.  So, right now, get out there and live, regret is useless.  Whether you are looking at life through a child’s eyes or a set of elderly eyes, I challenge you to make a bucket list, start checking things off NOW.  It’s never too early to start.  Time is one of the only things that all the money in the world, can’t buy you.  Use your time wisely and love the hell out of your NOW, because it might change tomorrow.